Charlotte Joanne Nelson was born on 1.11.11 at 3:18 pm without a heartbeat. She weighed 5 lbs 14 oz and was 20 inches long. She was beautiful.I am writing this post because I know a lot of people want to know what happened, but don't know how to ask or if they should. We appreciate everyone being considerate of our feelings, but we're okay talking about it. And we definitely don't want anyone to feel weird around us or withhold important information from us because they think it might make us sad.
My last day of work was 1.7.11 and I moved to Provo on 1.8.11. On Sunday 1.9.11 Matt and I were at church in our new ward, and little Charlotte was kicking like crazy during Sunday School. And that was the last time that I remember feeling her move. I went to bed Sunday night thinking it was weird that she wasn't moving, but thought she was tired from all the moving and stress I'd been going through and figured she was sleeping. However, Monday morning when I woke up and she still wasn't moving I knew something was wrong. Matt and I went over to UVRMC and went to the emergency room. Apparently the ER doesn't deal with people that are more than 12 weeks pregnant, and I was 36 weeks, so we were sent up to labor & delivery. The admitting process took forever. At least it felt like it took forever. A baby's life was hanging in the balance, and they were worried about getting Matt's work information and my cell phone number. When we were finally admitted, we were taken to a room and they asked me to put on one of those awesome hospital gowns. Again I felt like time was being wasted. Why couldn't they just get an ultrasound machine and check to see if she was moving? After I finally got changed and ready the nurse came in and used a stethoscope thing to find a heartbeat. She searched all over my stomach and couldn't hear anything. So she went to get an ultrasound machine to find the heartbeat. I was terrified. I knew something was wrong and was just praying that I was wrong and panicking for no reason. Our nurse came in with the ultrasound machine and started looking for Chuck's heartbeat. When we saw her on the monitor she wasn't moving and there was no movement in the area where you should be able to see the heartbeat. You could tell she felt bad and didn't want to be the one to tell us that our baby had died, but she didn't need to tell us. We could see that there was no movement. That little ultrasound monitor that once brought us so much joy, was now the thing that brought us the most pain and sadness we've ever experienced.
The delivery was difficult and forceps had to be used, but we made it through. They let us keep Charlotte with us overnight and spend some time with her before the guy from the mortuary came. Our families came and got to hold her and see what a beautiful baby she was. We will always miss and love our baby girl and look forward to the day we get to see her again. And we are so grateful for the time we got to spend with her. Even if it was just a few short hours with her lifeless body, it was so special and sacred for us to be together as a family.
Thank you again for all your love and prayers that you have sent our way over the past few months. It has made all the difference in the world.
16 comments:
Whit and Matt, this breaks my heart. I am so sorry for the pain you had to experience. I love you both. I love that little Charlotte, what a beautiful little face and what dainty little lips she has.
What sweets angels, mom and baby. So much love being sent your way, Whitney!
You are so brave for sharing your story. It's hard to understand why these things happen, but i guess in the big picture the why isn't as important as the how we handle it. Your so amazing and have really inspired me.
Matt and Whit, she is so beautiful, I hope that things are going well. Thanks for sharing Charlotte story.
Oh Whitney, I love you and your strength! She looked beautiful and perfect! Bless you and your family.
Dear Whitney & Matt,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Charlotte. I don't know if you remember that I've worked Labor & Delivery for 25+ years. I am glad you had a few hours with Charlotte to love and hold her. I know you will see her again in the next life, but I also know you would rather have faced the joys & challenges of parenting her in this one!
I wish I could be there for you and your family, but I can only hold you in my heart, and pray for your hearts to heal.
Hugs,
Haze
Wow your guys faith and stregnth is so pure and wonderfull when I first saw what happened to you guys it broke my heart Taylor my daughter was just a month old and man I don't know what I would've done in your guys place you and your husband are strong and ill keep praying for you guys
Whitney & Matt, thank you for sharing your story. I have honestly thought of you A LOT and have been wondering how you were doing and feeling...you have been in my prayers. I cannot imagine what you have had to go through. I have been praying that you have been able to be strengthened and find peace!
Beautiful Baby Chuck! Thanks for sharing. We love you guys!!
Thanks for sharing your story. Do the doctors know why her heart stopped beating? Was she wrapped around the embilical chord or something. These things make me so nervous. I am glad you're not weird talking about it. It must be hard still though. Good luck with everything and more babies to come in the future:)
Thanks for sharing your beautiful pictures! There couldn't be better parents for Baby Chuck. I love you both!
Thank you so much for sharing this Whitney. Sometimes it is hard to know what to say and I am so thankful that you took the time to let us know that it's ok to talk about it and to tell Charlotte's sweet story. Even though we don't keep in touch, we still love you guys and think about you often and know that your sweet angel is watching over you. She really is beautiful.
Oh Whitney, what a beautiful picture of you and Charlotte. You've been on my mind today. Love you.
oh, you two! thank you for sharing your story- how touching. WOW. you've been in our prayers many, many times. we are so excited for you to all be together again! what a wonderful little angel! your sweet family is so beautiful.
Hey Whit and Matt. Charlotte was such a blessing to our family even for just a short while. I love ya!
Thank you all so much. It's such a wonderful feeling to know that it doesn't matter how much time passes between visits, your true friends will always be there for you in a time of need. I love you all so much!!
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