Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Charlotte Joanne Nelson

Charlotte Joanne Nelson was born on 1.11.11 at 3:18 pm without a heartbeat. She weighed 5 lbs 14 oz and was 20 inches long. She was beautiful.

I am writing this post because I know a lot of people want to know what happened, but don't know how to ask or if they should. We appreciate everyone being considerate of our feelings, but we're okay talking about it. And we definitely don't want anyone to feel weird around us or withhold important information from us because they think it might make us sad.

My last day of work was 1.7.11 and I moved to Provo on 1.8.11. On Sunday 1.9.11 Matt and I were at church in our new ward, and little Charlotte was kicking like crazy during Sunday School. And that was the last time that I remember feeling her move. I went to bed Sunday night thinking it was weird that she wasn't moving, but thought she was tired from all the moving and stress I'd been going through and figured she was sleeping. However, Monday morning when I woke up and she still wasn't moving I knew something was wrong. Matt and I went over to UVRMC and went to the emergency room. Apparently the ER doesn't deal with people that are more than 12 weeks pregnant, and I was 36 weeks, so we were sent up to labor & delivery. The admitting process took forever. At least it felt like it took forever. A baby's life was hanging in the balance, and they were worried about getting Matt's work information and my cell phone number. When we were finally admitted, we were taken to a room and they asked me to put on one of those awesome hospital gowns. Again I felt like time was being wasted. Why couldn't they just get an ultrasound machine and check to see if she was moving? After I finally got changed and ready the nurse came in and used a stethoscope thing to find a heartbeat. She searched all over my stomach and couldn't hear anything. So she went to get an ultrasound machine to find the heartbeat. I was terrified. I knew something was wrong and was just praying that I was wrong and panicking for no reason. Our nurse came in with the ultrasound machine and started looking for Chuck's heartbeat. When we saw her on the monitor she wasn't moving and there was no movement in the area where you should be able to see the heartbeat. You could tell she felt bad and didn't want to be the one to tell us that our baby had died, but she didn't need to tell us. We could see that there was no movement. That little ultrasound monitor that once brought us so much joy, was now the thing that brought us the most pain and sadness we've ever experienced.

The delivery was difficult and forceps had to be used, but we made it through. They let us keep Charlotte with us overnight and spend some time with her before the guy from the mortuary came. Our families came and got to hold her and see what a beautiful baby she was. We will always miss and love our baby girl and look forward to the day we get to see her again. And we are so grateful for the time we got to spend with her. Even if it was just a few short hours with her lifeless body, it was so special and sacred for us to be together as a family.

Thank you again for all your love and prayers that you have sent our way over the past few months. It has made all the difference in the world.